Happy holidays and shit!

OK, this one pretty much breaks the whole detective motif. But I really just get so irritated at The History Channel and the glut of pseudo-scientific bullshit they constantly play. Change your goddamned name, wouldja? Although you might have to fight with The Discovery Channel for “The Paranormal Channel” name.

So much bullshit, so little History.

It’s true. We all go out the same way. Well, unless you’re like blown up or something.

I don’t watch Monk. I’ve seen Monk and it seems fairly interesting and I really like Tony Shaloub a lot. But it never hooked me in. Considering the length of its run, that’s probably a good thing. It’d be one more thing to distract me from drawing the damned comic.

How come none of you bastards told me the last Batdude strip was broken? Huh? I’m keeping an eye on you kids…

Happy Thanksgiving, gobblers. This one is late or early depending on your point of view. You decide! It’s like one of those choose your adventure things!

So, sure. Superman puts on some glasses and he’s Clark Kent and nobody recognizes him. It’s the oldest joke in the comic book. But what about Batman’s assorted ‘fiendishly’ named fiends? I mean, if he couldn’t figure out that E. Nigma was the goddamned Riddler, what kind of damned dark knight detective is he? But then… you can take that too far.

Not ALL of his villains had clever ‘look at me!’ names. Some of them just want to watch the world burn and tell you about their scars. Hell, I’m sure we’ll soon be treated to yet another Joker origin story in the “New 52″ universe. After Batman and Catwoman stop having sex, I mean.

Dude. Joanna Cassidy? I can’t help myself. Any time I stumble on these pictures I just lose my brain. I become a mindless animal ruled by my libido. I know it’s not right, but I’m not gonna lie about it.

You may already know, but I’m a huge Blade Runner fan and, like as not, if I’m not drawing some sophomoric ‘just another webcomic that thinks it’s funny’ picture of Holmes excreting something, I’m probably gonna reach for Deckard or Poirot. What? No, that’s not code for anything. Who’s got the dirty mind now?

I tried to write something about this, but basically it boils down to this: Victorians were weird. Also, you just know Holmes had some special “loo time” with his portrait of Irene Adler. I’m just sayin’… “NO, MRS. HUDSON! DON’T COME IN HERE! I’M… SLEUTHING!”

Hey, Halloween is comin’ up fast! Here’s a thing I drew for Mad Art Lab.

I have an odd love/loathe affair with the Charlie Chan and Mr. Moto films. On the one hand, they’re racist testaments to how fucked up American films (and Hollywood in particular) can be. On the other hand, they are often kind of fun, as whodunnits go. Well… Until something happens that makes you want to sell your belongings and embark on a quest to personally apologize to every Asian person on Earth…

This guy has had two charges of non-wife-not-even-mistress fucking dropped. One of really seems to involve some rapey elements. And now there are allegations he visited a brothel that may have employed minors. And by allegations I mean his name in their books and out of the mouth of some of the girls. Seriously. WTF France???

Props to my friend Jared for suggesting that the Spade and Archer detective agency could have been very different with a different Archer. This was pretty much all his idea. He’s a funny guy and I asked him to throw a gag my way. When he sent it, it made me laugh loud enough to worry what the neighbors thought.

I intended all along to draw Archer as close to ‘on model’ as I could. But I couldn’t decide whether to make Sam Spade a stick man or not. In the end, I figured if I was gonna fart around so long on it already, I might as well go all out.

Sorry there was no comic last week. I’m working on a super secret project and I spent the whole of last weekend working on it.

You wanna talk about ‘shadow of the Bat’? Talk to Tim Drake. That kid can’t get a break.

Not that Dick Grayson has it easy what with having to go from teenager to Batman-sized adult in a couple of years. You see, the DCnU, as they call it, has the Batman man-boy saga compressed down to five years. In that time Batman has had four, count ‘em, four Robins. And one of them, Dick, also had to fill in for Batman for awhile somewhere in that five years. Oh, and Batman had to father Damian at some point. But when it’s convenient (see Batman #1) they’re all of an age and size you’d expect a succession of boy wonders to be. Small Damian, slightly bigger Tim & Jason, a little bit bigger again Dick. …Until they’re not. Bam, Dick’s a man-sized man in Nightwing. Jason’s a man-sized man-child in Red Hood and The Misogynists (or something like that).

But have to give it up for DC. It’s a bold choice to immediately fill your new shiny universe with anachronisms and head-scratching math problems. But then, for once, you find that Tim Drake gets a break. He’s an age-appropriate teenaged Teen Titan as Red Robin in Teen Titans.

I’m sure he’ll be brutally murdered soon to make up for this good fortune.

You know you were thinkin’ “What’s he doin’ with that dove, man? WTF is with the dove? Why is he wearing bike shorts? Also. Is he gonna squish that dove?”
It’s Rutger Hauer, so the odds were about 50/50 for ‘long heart-felt soliloquy’ versus ‘stab him in the chest with a dove’.

Also, this is probably my favorite movie in the world, so I just wanted to draw Gaff as a stickman. … inception… *poof*